Going Mental
by KowaretaHikari
Summary: An ongoing series of funny ficlettes based on the particular brand of crazy presented by each of Narutos Characters. Read and Review Please. New Naruto Finally!
1. ADHD

**I Disclaim…**

**Okay heres the deal Im bored right now and kinda in trouble for dying my hair black with blue highlights and I have nothing else to do so I am going to write a ongoing set of nonconsecutive stories about mental illness and disorders as they relate to different Naruto characters. So Read and Review.**

**---------------------------------------------**

**Number 1 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)**

is, as indicated by research, a neurological disorder initially appearing in childhood which manifests itself with symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, poor impulse control, and distractibility.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Team 7 was sitting at Ichirakus Ramen Stand one day after training enjoying a quiet meal… except Naruto was there.

"Oi! 3 more bowels of Miso Ramen old man!" shouted the hyperactive blonde from his seat next to Sasuke.

"Naruto clam down you remember what happened last time you ate that much?" said Sakura.

"Uhm… no" replied Naruto wolfing down more Ramen.

"You got sick dobe…" Sasuke said staring at his friend with the bottomless stomach.

"Oh yeah… hey what time is it? I think I should go buy some new shirts… Anyone got any quarters I need to do my laundry. Hey I think Ill go ask out Hinata!" and with that Naruto ran out the door in search of Hinata.

"Did he just say all that in one breath?" Sasuke asked bewildered.

"Hey better go catch Naruto before Hinata steals your boyfriend Sasuke…" Kakashi added reading his Icha Icha.

"…. Shut up!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More Chapters and More Crazed Characters to come. So please Read and Review


	2. Conduct Disorder

**Number 2 Conduct Disorder**

In psychiatry, **conduct disorder** is a pattern of repetitive behavior where the rights of others or the social norms are violated. Possible symptoms are over-aggressive behavior, bullying, physical aggression, cruel behavior toward people and pets, destructive behavior, lying, truancy, vandalism, and stealing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaara of the desert had woken up to a bad hair day. His usually un-kept disheveled hair was falling flatly and smoothly into his face into something resembling Rock Lees bowl cut.

Gaara had attempted for an hour to fix his hair but to no avail. He finally gave up and decided to head downstairs and have breakfast with his 'family' which consisted of Kankuro, Temari, and one random fan girl who from no on will be referred to as Psycho.

"Morning my dear Gaara!!!!!!" Psycho shouted with stars in her eyes. "OH MY LORD!!!! What happened to your hair!?"

"Hn nothing… go away…" Gaara replied clearly annoyed.

"Nice hair Gaara" Kankuro said chuckling.

"Kanky! We must help Gaara-kun fix his hair!" shouted Psycho.

"What the hell did you just call me?" Kankuro asked.

"There's nothing wrong with my hair now stop talking about it…" Gaara snapped.

"Sorry Gaara just funny to see you like thi-" Kankuro was cut off by Gaara tackling Kankuro to the ground and beating him savagely. Psycho watched on cheering for Gaara and in the commotion no one noticed Temari sneak out to go visit Shikamaru.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read and review please more to come.


	3. Grandiose Delusion

**Number 3 Grandiose delusion**

A **grandiose delusion** is an experience of an extremely exaggerated sense of worth, power, knowledge, identity, or relationship. Someone who is grandiose may believe he can speak to supernatural beings or that he is a supernatural being himself. This is one of three of the strong signs that help determine whether a person is psychopathic, along with superficial charm and geocentricism.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Orochimaru and Kabuto were sitting in the bed they shared because Orochimaru is a homosexual pedophile and everyone knows it.

"Lord Orochimaru why are you laughing?" Kabuto asked.

"Simple I was just thinking about my fight with Jiraiya." Orochimaru replied.

_------------------------------_

_Flashback_

_------------------------------_

"_Omg you is the suxors nub-cake! Lols1/1/1!!" Orochimaru Yelled throwing a rock and hitting Jiraiya on the head._

"_Oh noes I is pwned!!!!!" Jiraiya shouted falling down hurt._

_------------------------------_

_Flashback_

_------------------------------_

"Uhh…. Lord Orochimaru… that's not how it happened… in fact Jiraiya and Naruto beat you up.

"SILINCE! How dare you correct me Kabuto! How could those two imbeciles possibly beat me? I am a living God! I will destroy everyone who disagrees you hear me!?" Orochimaru shouted enraged with his head tilted to the side and some drool coming out of his mouth as he twitched and began breathing heavy.

"Uhh… okay then…"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	4. Transvestic Fetishism

-1**Number 4 Transvestic fetishism**

is a sexual fetish for the clothing of the opposite gender. It is one of a number of cross-dressing behaviours and is primarily a psychiatric term.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neji and Naruto were training together while Gai supervised since Hinata had a huge crush on Naruto she was hiding behind a bush using byakugan to spy on him.

Neji and Naruto continued training and Hinata continued watching until Gai noticed her.

"Hinata! Why are you here? You should be off enjoying you youth!" shouted Gai happily standing in front of Hinata less then away.

Hinata stared for a few minutes before standing up and screaming. "Why is Gai wearing a thong!? AHHHHHHHH"

Now neither Neji or Hinata could use Byakugan. (Read Nejis Eye Problem)  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	5. Histrionic Personality Disorder

-1**Number 5 Histrionic Personality Disorder**

A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention

Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior

Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions

Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self

Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail

Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion

Is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances

Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Team 7 was waiting on the bridge where they did everyday, waiting for their Sensei to show up.

As usual Naruto was bored, Sasuke was annoyed, and Sakura was the cause of it.

Sasuke was sitting on the railing doing his best to ignore Sakura as she asked him out for the 100th time that morning.

"Sasuke! Is my hair pretty??"

"Hn.."

"Sasuke! Does the shirt look good on me?"

"Hn…"

"Sas-kay! How about after training you and I go out and get something to eat?" Sakura asked with a huge anime smile on her face.

"Oi Sakura-chan Sasuke doesn't like you… figured you woulda figured that out by now…" Naruto added his 2 cents in a totally correct statement.

"SHUT UP MORON!" shouted Sakura before hitting Naruto in the face so hard the Kyuubi spit up teeth.

"You do like me right Sasuke?" Sakura pouted and pretended to tear up while bending over attempting to give him a clear view down her shirt.

"Well.." Sasuke began but was promptly cut off.

"OOOO I KNEW IT!" Sakura squealed before glomping him to the ground.

At about that time Kakashi showed up and interrupted the happy young girl and nauseous young emo.

"Uhmm What goings on with you two? And why is Naruto coughing up blood?" he asked frightened of the answer.

"Interrupt me and Sasuke-kun again and you'll find out…" she said to her sensei menacingly.

"Right… well training today is cancelled because I have to go pick up some new underwear now… bye." and with that the Jounin ran off at the speed of light.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	6. Asperger's Disorder

-1**Number 6 Asperger's Disorder.**

Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:

Marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body postures, and gestures to regulate social interaction

Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level

A lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)

Lack of social or emotional reciprocity

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hinata Hyuuga was walking down the dirt road on the way to her home when she noticed her crush Naruto leaving Ichiraku's Ramen Stand. While leaving he happened to notice her and walked up with his average fox like grin spread across his face.

"Hey Hinata! What's up?" he asked happily.

As soon as he said her name Hinata slouched down, looking at the ground and began twiddling her fingers like she always does when she talks to him.

"N-nothing N-Naruto.." she replied nervously.

"So how have you been doing?" he asked trying to coax her into a conversation.

"F-fine.."

"How's your training?"

"F-fine…"

"Uh… Getting better at using Byakugan?"

"N-not really I'm still not very good at it…"

"Uh… Well Cya Hinata I gotta go Train!" and with that the blonde ran off waving behind him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	7. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

-1**Number 7 ****Narcissistic Personality Disorder**

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents,

Expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Requires excessive admiration

Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yamanaka Ino and Shikamaru Nara were walking down the street chatting like friends. (Well Ino was chatting Shikamaru was just mumbling troublesome under his breath.)

"Hey Ino Asuma said we were supposed to train with Team Gai today…" the shirker said.

"Team Gai? Isn't that the team Nejis on?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Grr… I HATE THAT JERK HOW DARE HE INSULT ME AND DENY MY BEAUTY!" (Chunin exams) Ino shouted at the top of her lungs making several people stop and stare.

"Troublesome woman…"

"What'd you say!?"

"N-nothing… What do you care if Neji thinks your beautiful? I thought you liked Uchiha."

"I do!" Ino said still angry "And one day we going to get married, but forehead girl keeps trying to come between us!"

"Huh? I didn't think she liked him anymore."

"Of course she does! Sasuke is perfect everyone likes him and that's why I am the only one good enough for him!" she stated matter-o-factly with a smug grin on her face. "I cant believe Sakura actually thinks he would ever like her better then the wonderful beautiful me!"

At this point Shikamaru had taken to watching clouds as he walked and trying his best to ignore the psychopathic girl walking next to him.

"She's just jealous of my beauty and Sasukes _obvious _ love for me" she said once again with the smug look.

"I really don't think he likes either of you troublesome women… in fact he seems to like Naruto more then both of you" Shikamaru replied to her rant while still staring up at clouds.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

To make a long story short it took 5 Anbu to pull Shikamaru out of the crater that Ino smashed him into.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	8. Posttraumatic Stress Syndrome

**Number 8 Posttraumatic Stress Syndrome **

The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:

The person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others

The person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror. **Note:** In children, this may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late evening Sasuke and Naruto had just finished training, Sakura had gone to the hospital because she passed out from a massive nosebleed after Sasuke decided to train without his shirt, and Kakashi just hadn't shown up that day.

Sasuke was being his normal emo self, you know angsting as no other before him has. Naruto was being unusually quiet.

"Ehhmm…" Sasuke cleared his throat trying to draw attention from Naruto.

"…"

Naruto yawned.

"……." Sasuke waited for Naruto to say something.

Naruto watched an ant crawling up his arm.

"**MY WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD!**" shouted Sasuke before running away sobbing and muttering things about Itachi being evil under his breath.

"…." Naruto stared wide eyed at his friend not able to move or speak.

2 Weeks Later

Sasuke was walking around his home staring at the floor. While walking into the living room he noticed something out of the corner of his eyes. A weasel. Sasuke immediately thought of his brother and what he had done. (A/N: If anyone doesn't know Itachi means weasel) After the flashbacks ceased Sasuke began to stare at the weasel as it made its way around the room.

"…"

"REVEEENGE!" Sasuke shouted at the top of his lungs with foam coming out of his mouth. He then picked up a large sledge hammer and began chasing the weasel around the room laughing maniacally.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	9. Gender Identity

**This may or may not be the last chapter, because I am running out of material. L However I hope you enjoy them all.**

**Number 9 Gender identity disorder**

as identified by psychologists and medical doctors, is a condition in which a person has been assigned one gender, usually on the basis of their sex at birth (compare intersexuality), but identifies as belonging to another gender, or does not conform with the gender role their respective society prescribes to them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deidara and Sasori sat in the living room of the Akatsuki hideout. Sasori was reading a book and sitting on the couch, while Deidara was sitting in the floor painting his nails black.

"Hey Sasori un" Deidara said flipping his silky blonde hair only to have it fall back into place there again.

"What?" Sasori asked slightly irritated at being interrupted.

"What do you think? Un." Deidara said holding out on hand to Sasori with his palm facing down and fingers stretched out.

"Of what?" Sasori said turning his head to look at Deidara. "….What…the…hell"

"Pretty? Un" Deidara said smiling and blushing at Sasori.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Short I know but like I said I am running out of material to do this with and its hard to find specific illnesses to match characters right. Anyway Please REVIEW and keep an eye out for more yeah?**


	10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

New Naruto! Hurricane Chronicles is here! Check Youtube.

**Number 10 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder**

Compulsions as defined by (1) and (2):

1. Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly

2.The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive

Special Thanks to Natsu-Shimo for giving me the idea to do OCD with Lee.

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Rock Lee was training alone in the forest, he was doing his usual routine, and thinking of Sakura and Naruto the whole time like he likes to do.

"If I cannot do 1000 Push-ups I shall do 2000 Sit-ups!" Lee shouted as he began doing push-ups.

As he was doing push-ups Sakura walked and noticed him, and decided to stop and watch.

"997-998-999..." and Lee fell down, and began doing sit-ups. "If I cannot do 2000 sit-up I will run 500 laps."

"Hey Lee!" Sakura said happily and Lee almost immediately jumped up and forgot he was even training.

"Hello Sakura!" he greeted. "How are you today?"

"Im fine Lee, how are you?"

"Im fine but I must do 500 laps! After that would you like to go on a date?"

"Uhm… No thanks Lee…." Sakura answered trying to be nice.

"If you do not go I will have to call you 200 times!" Lee said happily.

"Uhm.. That's okay. Its better if you didn't Im gonna be really busy…" she said backing away waving her hands in front of her face.

"If I cannot call you I will visit you 50 times!" Lee said still smiling.

"Uhh…I need to go see Tsunade.. Bye!" Sakura said as she took off running.

------------

1 Week Later

------------

Rock Lee had been arrested for stalking and placed into a Mental Institution.

"THERE ARE 200 PADDED TILES IN THIS ROOM!" Lee shouted with his head titled to one side and drooling.

"Let me out of this Straight Jacket! I must do 500 Push-ups so Sakura will love me!" Lee shouted running 50 laps around his cell.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	11. Binge Eating Disorder

**Chapter #11**

**Binge Eating Disorder**

**Binge Eating Disorder causes people to eat large amounts of food compulsively with little control.**

**Thanks to Utsukushi-Mayonaka for this idea . **ありがとう　ございます.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chouji, Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Naruto were sitting in a small restaurant, eating a light lunch.

Naruto was eating ramen, Sasuke was eating Onigiri, Shikamaru was just staring at the ceiling, and Chouji was on his 43rd rack of ribs.

"Hey Chouji…" Naruto said slurping up the last bit of his ramen.

"What?"

"Why do you always eat so much?"

Chouji stared, confused , at Naruto like he had said the dumbest thing ever. "I don't think you know what you're talking about…"

Sasukes eyes suddenly widened. "Naruto doesn't know what hes talking about? OH MY GOD STOP THE F!#KIN' PRESSES!"

"Shut up emo punk!" Naruto shouted. "No seriously why do you eat so much?"

"I don't think I eat too much…Hey! Another order of ribs!" said Chouji McPhatbutt.

"If you say so…" Sasuke said, as the waiter brought the order of ribs to Chouji.

"Yum! Itadakimasu!" Chouji shouted, digging into his food like it was the only food known to man.

'GAR! NOM NOM GRUMBLE SLURP!' (Sound of Chouji eating)

Naruto, Sasuke, and even Shikamaru stared wide eyed at Chouji as he tore into the ribs, sending bits of meat and barbecue sauce flying everywhere. Naruto noticed a small bit of ramen laying near Choujis plate and decided to reach over and try to get it.

And that, dear readers, is the story of how Naruto lost his hand. The end.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	12. Avoidant Personality Disorder

**Number 12**

**Avoidant personality disorder**

People with avoidant personality disorder often avoid social interaction.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shikamaru was laying lazily on top of a building, staring up at the clouds. He was enjoying the day so far, mostly because no one had bothered him. At least no one, until Ino decided to show up.

"Yo Shikamaru!" Ino shouted Happily.

"What?" Shikamaru said groaning.

"Wanna go get some lunch?" Ino asked smiling.

"Too troublesome…"

"Hmm… Wanna go train?"

"No, Too troublesome…"

"Wanna go on a date?"

"Too troublesome…" Shikamaru answered starting to get slightly irritated.

"Oh my god! Shikamaru that guys gonna kill your mom, we gotta save her!"

"Too troublesome… besides your lying."

"Shikamaru are you ever gonna do anything fun?"

"Eh…"

And with that Ino left and Shikamaru laid on the roof until one day due to never moving, he turned into a statue and died. The End… Oh and happily ever after and such…


	13. Sexual Aversion Disorder

**Number 13**

**Sexual aversion disorder**

Sexual aversion disorder is a disorder characterized by disgust, fear, revulsion, or lack of desire in consensual relationships involving genital contact.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Sasuke Uchiha was walking down the street looking completely annoyed, which most likely, had something to do with Ino and Sakura hanging off his arms asking him questions.

"Sasuke! How about we go get dinner sometime?" Ino asked tugging lightly on Sasukes left arm.

"…" No reply from the Uchiha.

"Sasuke! Lets go out sometime!" Sakura said tugging on his right arm.

"…" Still nothing.

"Or we could go to your place and…" Ino said with a perverted grin.

At that comment Sasukes eyes bugged out.

"Hey! No way Ino pig! If anyone is going to Sasukes its me!" Sakura said angrily.

"Oh God NOOOO!" Shouted Sasuke running away, scared.

2 Days later Sasuke left for Orochimarus in the hopes that he wouldn't have to deal with Sakura and Inos sexual advances. Unfortunately he did still have to deal with Orochimarus…

--------------------------------------------------------

Cause lets face it. Any teenage boy with every girl in the town throwing themselves at him and always says no, has something going on.


End file.
